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<<Insert profound thought here>>

It's much more fun and stress free knowing exactly where you are with a fuck buddy. You know it's just physical. You know exactly what's expected of you.

Kuru, personally I'd prefer women who are out of the norm.
It means neither of you have to deal with those damn silly societal standards that lead to so many disputes. I think a lot of it comes from knowing that the other person isn't following any of the game rules that you give them more leeway and understanding. When they do something that frightens/shocks/worries you, you know it's not do to any psyche game or manipulation or insecurity. "I need soome time off" means they actually do need some time off, not "omigod, she's trying to leave me" or "she has another lover"; etc.

Problem is, I figure I'm like that (or try to be that way), so when I say something quite clearly like that, the other person usually reads it acoording to the game rules 'cause they're so used to 'em and gets all weird. Probably the same you for you other extra-normal folks.

Guys are allowed or even supposed to brag about the when/where/how/how often they've done someone - Girls are supposed to be sweet little virgins. Guys are supposed to have sex for physical pleasure - Girls are supposed to have sex for emotional reasons. Guys are supposed to want sex, even outside a relationship - Girls are supposed to want a relationship, even without sex.
WTF is that?

Girls can like sex as much as guys just for the physical part of it. Being a girl does not mean being whiny and hanging on to people. And most of all: Sleeping with someone who is not the-big-love-of-my-life does not make a girl a slut, a bad person, or someone that can't be your girlfriend. It only shows that she has the courage not to accord strictly to gender rules, and that she is someone who stands up for what she wants.

but seriously, gender roles in general are completely FUCKED UP. they're nothing more than the archaic remnants of a time when nobody could be who they really were. social norms are fine for cookie cutter, 2-dimensional pieces of plastic, but real human beings don't fit into neat little boxes.

girls are not emotional cripples who desperately need to love and be loved by the guy they sleep with. more chicks need to learn at some point in their lives, preferably young, that they are not illogical slaves to estrogen driven nervous breakdowns. chicks aren't born uptight and frigid, they just get mindfucked from the time they're little kids. so cheers to chicks who take lovers, and take no prisoners.

on the flip, guys get mindfucked too. mindfucked into thinking they're the predatory ones, that girls are prizes to be taken, and that every chick who sleeps with them is giving something up. the sooner they realize that camelot, knights in shining armor, and damsels in distress were nothing more than fairy-tale lies, the better off they'll be.

i'm glad to see other chicks and dudes on here who have flushed the boy-girl bullshit.

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kuru
'dancing is the vertical expression of horizontal desire.'
-robert frost

quote:

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Originally posted by kuru:
but seriously, gender roles in general are completely FUCKED UP. they're nothing more than the archaic remnants of a time when nobody could be who they really were. social norms are fine for cookie cutter, 2-dimensional pieces of plastic, but real human beings don't fit into neat little boxes.

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Shut up woman.

(don't hurt me, I'm fragile)

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Net Syndrome - http://www.netsyndrome.net/
Spydir Web - http://www.netsyndrome.net/spydirweb/

...mind-fucked into not knowing when to be sensitive, or when to just rip the chick's clothes off and say "Give it to me!!"

If a guy has a fuck-buddy then he is looked at by some guys as a "hero" but by most of society he is "using her" even if she wants it just as bad!!

hmmm...

quote:

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Originally posted by kuru:
social norms are neither social, nor normal.
discuss.

but seriously, gender roles in general are completely FUCKED UP. they're nothing more than the archaic remnants of a time when nobody could be who they really were. social norms are fine for cookie cutter, 2-dimensional pieces of plastic, but real human beings don't fit into neat little boxes.

girls are not emotional cripples who desperately need to love and be loved by the guy they sleep with. more chicks need to learn at some point in their lives, preferably young, that they are not illogical slaves to estrogen driven nervous breakdowns. chicks aren't born uptight and frigid, they just get mindfucked from the time they're little kids. so cheers to chicks who take lovers, and take no prisoners.

on the flip, guys get mindfucked too. mindfucked into thinking they're the predatory ones, that girls are prizes to be taken, and that every chick who sleeps with them is giving something up. the sooner they realize that camelot, knights in shining armor, and damsels in distress were nothing more than fairy-tale lies, the better off they'll be.

i'm glad to see other chicks and dudes on here who have flushed the boy-girl bullshit.

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I agree, women and men have needs...But above all, having a fuck buddy shows one thing. How dependant you are on having sex on a regular basis.

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All that I know there was no God for me
Force that shatters all, absence of mortality

I dont think there is anything wrong with women wanting to have just casual relationships with guys- but it only works when you are honest with yourself on why you are doing it. Like if you are doing it just to get closer to someone emotionally then perhaps its a bad idea to have fuck buddy- but if you are doing it for comfort (ie stress relief) or because you are just physically attracted to that person then it might not be such a bad idea.

This brings me to a point. I made a bet with my roommate that I would not date anyone while I was in law school (thats three years relationship free- she doesnt think I can do it) and she said that means that I cant see anyone. I said I was going to remain relationship free not celibate and she laughed.

It worries me that she laughed cause why do women have to just be about relationships? I mean if guys can go around fucking without thinking about emotions why do women have to be the ones to take up that slack- someone fill me in.

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<<Insert profound thought here>>

quote:

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Originally posted by Chrissy:
It worries me that she laughed cause why do women have to just be about relationships? I mean if guys can go around fucking without thinking about emotions why do women have to be the ones to take up that slack- someone fill me in.

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Because of what society considers "the norm", i.e. a centuries-old tradition of male domination.
This discussion reminds me of something I recently read in a novel: there was a guy, married, who kept seeing several girls just to have casual sex. His explanation why he didn't feel like being untrue to his wife was "Sleeping with a woman and then leaving her and sleeping at the side of a woman in the same bed are two totally different things that don't have to interfere". From a man, this seems totally normal. If a woman would say this about sleeping with men, it would be a scandal. Why the hell can't we simply think of ourselves as human beings, with human needs both physical and mental, and stop dividing men/women?

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I can resist everything except Temptation. - Oscar Wilde