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Topic: To Marry or Not to Marry, that is the question< Next Oldest | Next Newest >
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PostIcon Posted on: Oct. 18 2000,08:27  Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
this may be the jew in me speaking, but if youre gonna just live with em, its a better idea to get married, cause of the tax breaks an shit...
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PostIcon Posted on: Oct. 18 2000,11:25 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
Hmmm unfortunately Im not going to be part of the current trend so I will get married if I fall in love with someone. I will not get married 2+ months after getting someone pregnant, I want to get married then have kids, not the other way around. At least in my general area this is the "cultural norm". Oh and you have to be about 17 and pregenant then get married. If you want to be commited to someone and have a lasting relationship that means something then get married.(Im talking about a big wedding, not JOTP and a honeymoon at KFC or McDs.) If you dont want to get married and date thats cool too, just please if you have kids raise them decent and dont go on welfare, I want to at least keep some of my paycheck to pay for my bills.
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PostIcon Posted on: Oct. 18 2000,11:31 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
tax breaks! BAH!

I have been married twice (im blond and did not learn the first time). This time is not as bad as the first. Thing is about being married is this. sooner or later your going to wake up and look at the person next to you and think, "why am i still here?". Once you reach that point its over. Get out.

I have not reached that point yet in this marrage. The first one took about 2 months. Then again, i was thinking at the alter "i wish i was back in Panama where people were shooting at me."

Main reason i got married this time is I just dont want to be with anyone else. This marrage is going much better than the first.

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PostIcon Posted on: Oct. 18 2000,14:23 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
A marriage IS just a peice of paper in it's simplest physical form. However, it can have a HUGE sybolic mean, and it SHOULD! The doesn't mean it has to be religious, just a monumentous even that separates old times from new.

The problem with just living together is that you can pretty much jet out an any time. And the women try to have a kid ASAP to hold the guy down.

And that's not an attack on women, or on married life partners, it's just what I'VE seen from my experiences.

Anyway, if you want to raise a fam, don't have a kid and then get your shit together... get a better job... get a nicer place... find a school... etc. You need to get you shit together FIRST. Get established. Have a LIVE. THEN after everything is set up, have a kid into that set up evironment.

Whew, so I'm just rambling, but I think you got my basic oppinion...

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PostIcon Posted on: Oct. 18 2000,14:26 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
Oh wait! I remember what my point was!

My point was, that a peice of paper holding people together is better than a kid holding people together, cause you can't hurt paper if there's a break up, but you CAN hurt a kid.

Oh, and I'm not saying that people should be HELD together, I'm just saying that marriage should = a commitment, and people should try as hard as they can to keep that promise.

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PostIcon Posted on: Oct. 18 2000,15:24 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
i have no intention to get married to anyone, becuase i belive that marriage should be for life. no exeptions. i dont care if i am dating someone for 5 years until i realise i want to spend the rest of my life with them. if you dont think you can hold it for life, then dont take the plunge.

right now i dont belive i could make that sort of commitment, but i am young yet

i'm ont being romantic or any soppy shit, and i am not religeous, but whats the point of being married if you dont have any intention of it to be for life? i will probably end up with some chick living with her in a de-facto marriage for 10 years or something, but so what, as long as we are together, and we love each other

BUT i also think that if you find yourself in a marriege that you are not satisfied with, try and work it out (especially if u have kids), and if you cant, then GET OUT because there is no point going through all the hurt if its not gonna work out

but imo this all could be avoided if you followed step 1

i dunno, maybe i am just a naive kid, but it all makes sense to me now.

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PostIcon Posted on: Oct. 18 2000,15:45 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
I happen to be married, and let me tell you, it is NOT easy. You have to realize that everything you do and say now directly effect another person. Men have to grow up, and women have to realize than men will never grow up.

It used to be that whenever two people wanted to get married, "all they needed was love". That has now turned into: "all they need is a prenuptual agreement and good lawyers". This is what makes marriage dificult these days. I can recall many times when I have said to myself, "It would be so easy to just leave". I am glad that I never did. I am now a very happy man, and I have a wonderful wife, and two kids to show for it. So I recomend marriage for anyone who is ready to grow up and face the responsibility of the commitment, and if you are not that is OK, just DON'T get married :-)

NOTE: For any newlyweds, or people about to get married. Don't worry the first two years are the worst. After that "its all good".

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PostIcon Posted on: Oct. 18 2000,17:37 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
I'm not a 100\% sure if this is the right place to put this but I had a question. What is everyones view on getting hitched? I was talking to some girl friends of mine and it still seems pretty much the cultural norm for the girl to want to get married and have kids. Would a guy mind a girl that did not want to marry even if they were together for many many years? Or would it be on the minds of the guys too?
I guess Im just looking to see if Im odd or something because I dont believe in marriage at all. I think a person could love another person and not have a piece of paper that atested to that fact.
Let me know your opinions on this I'm kind of interested.

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PostIcon Posted on: Oct. 18 2000,23:10 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
i don't see myself getting married. maybe not ever, but at least not for a very long time. i like my freedom, i like having my own home with no one else in it, being able to get away from everyone when i need it. i don't think i'm suited for marriage. i don't want kids, i like it that i can move anywhere my career'll take me...

but mostly, i can't live with people. 8 - 10 hours a day is the most human contact i can take, and beyond that, anyone even being in the same room with me is exhausting. if i ever do get married, it won't be a 'wedding,' because the last thing on earth i want is to wear a dress and pretend i give a crap about invitation fonts. i have no female friends, so that eliminates bridesmaids no matter what i do.... and i'm too cynical to believe that it's possible to make any decision that's going to work for me for fifty years.

so um.. not all chicks think about getting married, i never did. maybe i'm just weird, but if i'm the only chick in the world who never had a pretend wedding as a little kid.. well, i'm glad to know there's one more unique thing about me to make me glad i'm not like everyone else

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PostIcon Posted on: Oct. 19 2000,00:51 Skip to the previous post in this topic.  Ignore posts   QUOTE
I never had a pretend wedding as a kid either and I never thought of getting married before. However I am married now! Contradiciton? I think not! I never imagined myself spending the rest of my life with someone until I met my hubby. It wasn't 2 months and then marriage either. We were together for 6 years (broke up in that time too) and lived together before we got hitched. The main point was/is that we couldn't imagine spending the rest of our lives without each other...we tried it and it didn't work. So to deepen our commitment to each other we did the legal thing. The piece of paper means nothing, its the symbolic gesture that was/is important.

As for a big wedding, no thanks! It was small (18 people) and done very inexpensively. Plus I don't have any female friends either so I forwent the bridesmaids and had my best friend (male) be my bachelor of honour. We aren't ones for tradition.

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