detonate.net - Wiley's Movie Review

The following has been brought to you by Guinness Draught …lots of it. I thought I’d post on the front page for once, and mix things up with the first Front Page Movie Review of Detonate …because hey …movies are cool. And it keeping with the theme of Detonate, I’m doing a movie that blows some shit up …lots of shit up. Tonight I will review for you, Bad Boys II …whatcha gunna do when dey come for j00!

Ok, I know I’m a bit late on this flick …but I’ve been busy and I don’t get out much. Plus I heard the movie sucked ass from all the Siskle and Ebbert types (well, the one who aint dead …the fat one …who woulda thought he would outlive the skinny one?) Anyway, the movie kicked ass, despite the fucked opinions of the media, and I’ll tell you why.

First, it addressed all the key elements of the target demographic, the young males 18-35, of which I happen to fit into. (Hot wet chicks, Guns, Ferraris, Drugs and shit blowing up …and even dead people splattered all over the road)

Second, I want to address the fact that the beginning of this movie was basically a high budget commercial for ecstacy. It totally was …I wouldn’t deny that. Ecstacy has a following of very hot, very horny chicks that are pretty much naked …in this respect Bad Boys II was more of a documentary then Bowling for Columbine …with hot wet chicks …let’s not hold that against Michael Bay, I’m sure he didn’t invent E. And there’s a PSA buried in there …there was the requisite O.D. to keep the women of M.A.D.D. happy.

Third ...Ok, a lot of people got dead in an out of control police pursuit that endangered the lives of many a civilian …but that’s the beauty. Our heros didn’t just let the bad guys get away, they didn’t just turn the other cheek …they chased the ***** after them with guns blazing. That’s what this world needs …people are just fucked up and we can’t let them go. I mean …during this onscreen chase some guy is kicking the back of my chair. Mike Lowrey is dogging bullets for the sake of justice and I don’t even want to deal with telling the guy to stop kicking my chair …we should all have such role models, the world would be a safer place.

And the love interest …attaching a family bond to a tight partnership …I could ***** cry it was so beautiful.

Then there is the part that critics keep sighting as the worst part of the movie …a chase through a shanty town in Cuba where our heroes basically destroy a poor small village. But this is where the critics aren’t paying close attention to the dialog …the village is full of drug labs …which make it Ok to destroy. Think about it, they are doing the world a favor AND making a great chase scene all in one. Again …***** BEAUTIFUL.

And the ending ...don’t even get me started. A classic “I had to shoot him” with an “only one more bullet in the chamber” combo. I’m sorry Siskel and/or Ebbert (whichever one of yous is still alive)
I gotta give this one a

4.5 Guinness Review