quote:
Originally posted by miNus:
You Know You Have Too Much Horsepower When..
This quote should only be finished with "..when fusion occurs at the rear wheels."
1. The emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as you pull onto the rollers.
Yea wait till they see the roll cage...
2. You can't drive your car in the rain.
Any thing with 400hp or above is in this category.
3. Your 'significant other' is afraid to drive your car.
Does peeing your pants and smashing the face on a quarter into your palm count? She was really mad that night.
4. You are afraid to drive your car.
Never had that problem.
5. You spend more on tires than on food.
Yeah well...burnouts kinda do that.
6. You spend more on car insurance than on house payments.
Ūk a year isnt bad.
7. You look in a state police car and see a picture of your car taped to the dash.
The state troopers usually dont catch you... especially if its on a large highway.
8. You throw your underwear in the garbage rather than the hamper.
Never had that problem.
9. You have to go to the track to buy gas.
All my shit is optimised for 93 octane(which doesnt hurt if you add a little alcohol.)
10. Your mechanic names the new wing of his shop after you.
Yea like you can find one shop to do all the work.
11. Jacques Villeneuve and Michael Schumacher wave you by.
That would be cool.
12. You can make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs.
What I would do to get a hyperdrive installed.
13. You're tempted to wear your fire suit just to drive to the office.
If so youve got problems.
14. Red signal lights shift to green as you're approaching then shift back to red as you're receding.
THIS NEVER FUCKING WORKS NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY.
15. You arrive somewhere before you left.
No comment
16. You get pulled over for doing 155 in a
35 but the cops will let you go if "they can look under the hood."
The cops around here cant pull more than 120. If you pull over its your own damn fault.
17. You remove the stereo system to save 6 lb. of weight.
No I still gotta drive the car to work.
18. You are not allowed to run in the Silver State Challenge.
Ok whatever
19. You get an anonymous phone call asking if you are interested in being in the Cannonball Run.
Then youd have to be gone in 60 seconds.
20. Your face looks like you are riding a NASA centrifuge when you drive the car.
only from 0-120 then your eyebrows return to your forehead.
22. You need parachute braking.
Always a good idea when the wall at the end of the 1/4 mile track is coming up fast.
23. Your 'significant other' won't even ride in the car.
She made certain "rules" very clear first.
24. There is no possible way to "sneak out" of your neighborhood at 6 am.
Not unless the windows rattling is a common occurance in your community.
25. Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the garage door is opened. (Pets, and all the neighbors...)
Dont have a garage
26. Family photos throughout the house are replaced with life-sized posters of your car.
No.
27. Fuel is delivered to your home in 55 gallon drums.
No need.
28. You carry earplugs in your car.(doesn't everybody???)
Only when the exhaust cut outs are "Open"
29. The only spot on the car which receives any regular cleaning is the windshield. (what else is there to clean???)
Not much else is as important.
30. You find out that side mirrors don't hold up at speeds exceeding 145 mph.
The passenger side mirror flies off a chevelle at about 162.
31. Young children cling to their mommies in fear when you round the corner.
Its funny the first 30 times then you get tired of the dirty looks.
32. Birds fall out of their nests from the rumble of your 5" dual exhaust.
We had to modify the the floor pan of the chevell for dual 4" so 5" would be fucking HUGE.... and all together necessary.
33. All the major tire makers are sending you free slicks in hopes of endorsment deal.
Oh how nice this would be.
34. The UPS guy took to taking Steroids so he could keep up with your shipments.
35. The Fed Ex guy had a nervous breakdown.
36. All the wildlife within a 800ft radius around your house got the HELL OUT.
37. The nearest Geological Seismic Surveying Station Operator knows your address by heart.
38. Your booming voice greets potential passengers with, "That's right....you paid for the whole seat but you'll only need the EDGE.
39. The earth slows in rotation when you hook up on your new slicks and head east now thats.
Sometimes it feels like it.
40. You have to screw your slicks to the wheels.
Again sometimes youd think youd have to.
41. Your exhaust pipes are larger in diameter than your driveline.
Dont tease me.
42. Your fuel pump flows enough to water a golf course.
200 gph was running the 572 a little lean.
43. Your compression's high enough you could run diesel fuel.
12.0 to 1 static compression and another 9lbs of boost. Thats ....ENOUGH
44. The sparks from your wheelie bars start grass fires on the side of the road.
Who uses wheelie bars?
45. Your engine idles at 2800 rpm.
Well I thought 1200rpm was bad..
46. You measure the fuel you use in "gallons per mile.
Yes
Thought some of you car heads like me would like this 
Very cool
------------------
Radio Dj: so now that your not on saturday night live what are you gonna do?
Jim Bruer: I dont know.. fight mexicans or something.
FUHAOHB2IPDEFCIPUDQNFQFYLOEGOGB
