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Topic: Whore in the Bedroom< Next Oldest | Next Newest >
 Post Number: 11
askheaves Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Oct. 16 2000,16:47  Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
I guess the biggest thing is that sex is meant to be something that is shared between two people (or more) and is a bit special. For example, do you want your mom watching you get it on? It's not because you don't want her to know necessarily (grandkids come from somewhere), but it's not something you are sharing with her.
I'm usually pretty closed off about sex in public. When the guys are talking about this bitch or that ho, I'm pretty quiet. It's refreshing to talk to maybe one person about the things i've seen, and they talk back, but it's not the norm.
In the bedroom, I'm pretty whorish myself. I love doing certain things that you don't announce to your mother during Thanksgiving dinner.
I had a girlfriend who was as against PDA as I am, and the rational is that it is a part of our relationship that we share with each other, not the other people walking to class.
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 Post Number: 12
Chrissy Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Oct. 16 2000,19:05 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
I don't think that I am openly flirtatious in public because of some personal issues. I think I am just the type of person who likes to show attention, not necessarily receieve it. I have gotten myself into situations where guys have found me extremely sexually overt and have taken it to mean that I want to sleep with them (even though I gave them no provocation to assume so) because in their minds any bit of flirting meant that I "wanted" them.
I guess what I am trying to get at here is that flirting doesn't always imply sex- you can flirt and not mean it sexually but have a sexual undertone- you know what i mean? I think people automatically take flirting to mean that you are "very interested" in persuing a relationship that is physical when it doesn't necessarily imply that.
Any thoughts?

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 Post Number: 13
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PostIcon Posted on: Oct. 16 2000,21:42 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
Yeah, to me anyways there's nothing more frustrating than chicks who are major flirts and act like they're on top of things (yes, purposeful pun) in the bedroom, but then turns out they're not hot shit at all. More than anything it goes back to I think personguy's comment in another thread about woman being really sexual, and a tease, and not following up on it. There's a thin line where on one side, that gets guys going, but then on the other side, being disappointed like that makes a guy wanna cut of his balls/kill the chick for like the first 10 minutes. A lot of women don't know how much a lot of guys agonize about sex, because for guys it's more of a rarity to get any while with women it seems to be more of a matter of selection, i.e. finding the right guy/who you think is right, not saying, 'oh, woman are the ones that control sex' cuz while it may be true in a lot of cases, it's not always. Yeah.

This message has been edited by floyd on October 16, 2000 at 04:44 PM

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 Post Number: 14
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PostIcon Posted on: Oct. 16 2000,23:36 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
chrissy: please remember, guys can't read minds, so we cant tell when you are 'non-sexually' flirting, and 'sexually' flirting. since guys (and i am taking this back to basics here, please dont flame me ) are basically sexual creatures - i.e they exist to create a family and then provide for it. thats why guys seem so horny all the time to girls

but then chicks liek to flirt because (these are just my learnings, please excuse me if they are wrong) they like to know that they are in control - they like to be able to get any man they want, and then to be able to select amongst them. sorry i know that is very basic, and could be offensive, sorry

anyway, once again straying from the point....

i guess im trying to say, filrt all u want, but dont be surprised or dissapointed if the guy thinks you want him in bed NOW. and be careful who you flirt with, and how far u go

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 Post Number: 15
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PostIcon Posted on: Oct. 16 2000,23:58 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
I have a good suggestion: if you flirt, man or woman, be sure what you know you are getting your self into. If you are a girl and you flirt with a guy, don't be suprised to find that he thinks you want him. And if you are a guy and your flirt with a girl, you can pretty much expect that they won't want you physically. From my experiances, girls flirt to make them selves feel attractive. Guys flirt to show that they are physically and/or mentally attracted to you. So, now you all know, so use this info for good and not for evil.
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 Post Number: 16
Chrissy Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Oct. 17 2000,00:08 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
I think my point was that flirting isnt always about sex but can be about asserting one's sexual identity-- much like clothing or perfume. My feeling is such that a woman who chooses to be sexually overt does not necessarly imply sex as her nature but more as her person.
I know from my own personal experiences that many guys have been attracted to my openess and my flirtatious behaviour thinking that was all there was to me. Then a few months later have the nerve to call me cold and a bitch because what they thought I was I wasn't. Why can't a woman just being a sexual being on the outside and still be shy and scared on the inside. Women don't take this away from men. I know many a guy who was sexually aggressive in public- who looked for women to "be with" but then when the time came he wouldn't go for it. I think its less surprising then one may imagine. I think women give men the benefit of the doubt about shit like that. I mean think about it- women are less likely to call you on those points because it isnt as important to us as it is to you.
Agree/disagree gimme yer two cents- im listening

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 Post Number: 17
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PostIcon Posted on: Oct. 17 2000,00:41 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
I totally agree with Chrissy on this one. Flirting for women is often just a display of sexuality since it's so oppressed in everyday society. The problem is we get categorised into the sexual stereotypes. If you are shy and "pure" you are a virgin, if you flirt you are a whore...then there is the virgin/whore stereotype which is totally fucked up. Whether its a concsious choice or not women tend to flirt, display their sexuality, to break down these stereotypes and challenge them. Not all women are whores (in the bedroom) because they flirt and not all women are not whores because they don't flirt. That's the problem with stereotyping, it becomes a common norm that people (read: men) ascribe to and become disappointed when we don't live up to them in real life.

Whoa! That was a ramble! Basically it comes down to this...you need to be true to yourself. If you are one of the stereotypes then you are one, but if you are conforming to one because you think its what "guys" want then you aren't being true to yourself and ultimately you will end up unhappy.

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 Post Number: 18
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PostIcon Posted on: Oct. 17 2000,03:03 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
the only thing still oppressing women's ability to express their sexuality is women. all the shit that's in cosmo and all those other damn magazines that says 'dress like a whore, talk like a nun, and fuck likea slut' is just nuts. men don't put this on women, women do. my guy friends and every guy i've dated has appreciated the fact that while i'm willing to talk about sex openly and freely, i reserve it as somethin special to the one i share my bed with.

nobody can repress you unless you let them. that's exactly what women do all the time. they refuse to stand up and say 'this is who i am, like it or not.' instead, there's all these head games and flirting which somehow men are expected to understand as if they are women. that'll never happen. women seem to me to want men to accept women as we are, and not be how they are. that's .... crap. it's got to be a two way street, and though i catch some flak for it and sometimes get a double standard from a small minded person who thinks that my open attitude and willingness to talk about sex and flirt only when i really mean it marks me as a complete slut. the thing is, it's almost always a woman who'll call me a slut. i get a lot more positive comments and respect from dudes for my attitude than i do from chicks. maybe that's another reason why 99.9999\% of my friends are male.

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 Post Number: 19
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PostIcon Posted on: Oct. 17 2000,03:15 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
quote:
Originally posted by kuru:
they refuse to stand up and say 'this is who i am, like it or not.' instead, there's all these head games and flirting which somehow men are expected to understand as if they are women. that'll never happen. women seem to me to want men to accept women as we are, and not be how they are. that's .... crap.

Once again, I love you kuru (don't take it the wrong way )
You hit the nail on the head, along with fatbitch's comments. All of this together makes it very tough for men to know when a woman is interested in them.
I had a situation where I was friends with a girl for a few years (i've posted about her elsewhere) and we flirted all the time. Even now, over IM, we'll tell each other that we love each other (i don't know if we're joking or not). All of that, plus being a paranoid male makes it tough to figure out what in the hell is going on. I hate it and I want it to end.
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 Post Number: 20
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PostIcon Posted on: Oct. 17 2000,06:16 Skip to the previous post in this topic.  Ignore posts   QUOTE
I pretty much agree... the only thing is that it CAN be nessisary to be a slut in bed (or whatever chick mags talk about). IF the chick is a bitch, or hight matainence, it could be the only thing to keep a guy with her.

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This message has been edited by PersonGuy on October 17, 2000 at 01:17 AM

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