Ikonboard » Printable Version of Topic » Man WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

Forum: The Classroom
Topic: Man WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?
started by: L33T_h4x0r_d00d

Posted by L33T_h4x0r_d00d on Jul. 18 2002,14:59

Last night I'm at home with some of my friends. They are in my back yard looking at my bike, Im standing in the middle of my deck. I was attempting to fill butane (the bastard gas) brazing torch/soldering iron with out much luck. The little nozzle on the refill tank isnt seating very well and is spray alot of butane out around the edges. So my dick head neighbors come out on thier deck with a case of budweisers.

Now theres some serious issues between us and them. Their dog shits all over our front yard and used to in the back untill we put a fence up. We have assigned parking, 2 spots per house, their friends are always parking in our shit "on accident". The dumb fucker was puking in his toilet and passed out, the toilet overflows and fills his bathroom with 3 inches of water before coming through the comon wall and into our basement.

So Im trying to fill this damn torch just ignoring them. Then shit turns bad. Theres a sound I can only describe as a "fwoop" and a large ball of orange fire about 4.5 feet in diameter wrapped around me. I completly froze with my head turned to the side. It only lasted a second or two and I look down to see the lit cigarette that one of the assholes next door flicked at me. I hopped the short fence between our decks and hit the fucker I suspected in the head with his own deck chair about 8 times. His friends run up, my friends run up, theres alot of shit talking and we go back to our deck. I have no hair on my arms past my elbow and I had to trim off some of the curly cue'ed eyebrow hairs so I didnt look diseased. That shirt is scorched, and the big summer umbrella on the deck has a little black spot in the fabric now.

WTF?

Posted by jim on Jul. 18 2002,15:35

lol

Posted by Crafty Butcher on Jul. 18 2002,15:46

the problem is that if i'd seen that happen you would have had to have given me large quantities of very strong muscle relaxant to get me to stop laughing. now your neighbours sound as if they're the sort of ppl who have the 'that'd be funny' thought, and then either through idiocy or due to repressed homicidal tendencies, the error-checking protocol that's supposed to override that thought with something like 'that'd be so dumb, you could so easily kill the bloke' just never kicks in. sadly in my experience the only thing to do with such ppl is sterilisation and hope the gene pool tries harder next itme. basically they're never going to stop being wankers. either move, or stop caring. neither of those are remotely easy obviously, but that the problem with being a rational human being these days: everybody else is a cunt.

Posted by DRUFER on Jul. 18 2002,15:50

...could always use the torch on their car they next time they park in your spot.

Posted by L33T_h4x0r_d00d on Jul. 18 2002,16:00

Quote (DRUFER @ 18 July 2002,07:50)

...could always use the torch on their car they next time they park in your spot.

Fuck that, $1.99 buys a quart of dot 3 brake fluid. A $0.32 bic pen pokes a nice round hole in the bottom. 30 seconds and the above supplies ensures that paint never sticks to his car again. Extra points for leaving a word or phrase.

Posted by DRUFER on Jul. 18 2002,16:15

works for me

Posted by Necromancer on Jul. 18 2002,16:34

m8 you have some fucked up neighbours not that you dont already know that.

that bastard got everythign he deserved. i'm only mad you didnt have a handy wrench to hand to cave his face in.

Posted by Dysorderia on Jul. 18 2002,17:07

Quote (L33T_h4x0r_d00d @ 18 July 2002,11:00)

Quote (DRUFER @ 18 July 2002,07:50)

...could always use the torch on their car they next time they park in your spot.

or you could try pouring equal parts of pool chlorine and acid(both are available at your local pool store) into his car's air intake(creates a very noxious gas).

try this only if you know he won't call the cops.

Posted by Crafty Butcher on Jul. 18 2002,17:15

back in 'the day', when getting hold of a copy of the Anarchist's Cookbook, was enough to give me wet dreams, i remember it recommended getting a thermite reaction (aluminium oxide + iron fillings lit with magnesium) going on someone's bonnet as this would melt through engine block/axle/pavement. anyone ever try it? if not LHD could do some research for us...

Posted by forumwhore on Jul. 18 2002,17:26

Once, I did a bad thing; kay, twice.

I put drywall screws into all four tires, just turned enough to
seat them.

Please drive the vehicle now....

Barring that, cutting the brake lines is too easy.

Leave the parking brake so as not to kill innocent ppl.

Posted by L33T_h4x0r_d00d on Jul. 18 2002,17:38

Quote (Crafty Butcher @ 18 July 2002,09:15)

Yea I remember that shit. You were supposed to put a pile of it on a dime and put it on thier hood and then the magnesium strip would burn down to the pile and the concussion was supposed to blow the dime down into the engine block. We could never get it to work. It was more fun burning things with the lit magnesium strips. DONT LOOK AT THE LIGHT.

Posted by a2n3d7y on Jul. 18 2002,18:43

DUUUUUUUUDE!!!!!
Fucking Morons!
where do you live?.....I'll be right over.....he needs his ass kicked again.

Posted by Bozeman on Jul. 18 2002,21:04

Your'e supposed to put a big pile (about the size of a half-dollar coin) on the hood above the engine block, then light it and watch it slag the engine.

Also, there is a special chemical that acts as a catalyst between gasoline and air. Find a plastic ball, fill it with the stuff, and put it in his gas tank. The gas will dissolve the ball, and once it gets at the catalyst, the gasoline will burn, and the car will be torched.

I don't know how to do this but it sounds pretty cool. On a winter day before sunrise, go to his car. Dip cans of shaving cream in liquid N2. Open the can somehow, and the shaving cream is a brick inside. Place 20-30 in his car. When teh sun comes up, it will expand everywhere. Try to get one in the glove compartment.

All pranx courtesy of the Anarchist's Cookbook. Don't do this stuff.

Posted by Necromancer on Jul. 18 2002,21:13

you're talking about thermite. the thing that brought the hindenberg down only with that lightning was the replacement for the magnesium. it's not supposed to cause a concussive force its meant to create about 4000 degrees of heat that will simply melt its way through the engine block.

iron oxide and aluminium filings mixed in a 1:1 ratio.

stuff sets paper alight from about 1.5 meters away

Posted by CatKnight on Jul. 18 2002,21:22

holy shit l33t take that asshole to court! that is assault and reckless endangerment! if that doesn't work, you can always pump their place full of CO at 4 am....

Posted by Beldurin on Jul. 18 2002,21:51

d00d....that sucks...I think I would've gone homicidal, too.

Sounds about like my white trash neighbors, too.

Posted by Beastie Dr on Jul. 18 2002,22:38

On the topic: http://www.somethingawful.com/archives/news-archive-28-3-2002.htm

I found that highly enjoyable.

Posted by Marauder on Jul. 19 2002,05:30

However you decide to screw those pigs, I'd either move out or make DAMN sure that they can't do anything worse. At this point, he's gone as far as to endanger your life(in public no less), and you've kicked his ass. That's just a recipe for bad karma right there. Protect yo self.

Posted by Rhydant on Jul. 19 2002,06:17

take...
one plastic film canister
crystal form Drano (drain pipe cleaning stuff)
Comet (surface/bathroom cleaner stuff)

put one part drano, one part comet in the film canister
put the filled canister into the gas tank of his car.
walk away. better yet, run.

*boom*

or, paint-thinner filled water ballons are always fun. so are bolonge (sp?) frisbies.

if he has cats, crush some asprin pills and mix in it with some tuna fish. leave it out so the cat will eat it. dead cat. (but thats really mean)