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Forum: Sex
Topic: Back! Get back, vile temptresses!
started by: The_Stomper

Posted by The_Stomper on Dec. 11 2001,10:12

Bloody hell. Why is it the taken man gets all the attention?

Number of girls who showed affection towards Stomper while single - 0.

Number of girls who showed affection (and in some cases, a LOT more) towards Stomper while at university, and engaged (that's right, ENGAGED) - 6 and counting.

What the fuck? My single guy friends are tripping over their nuts to get with chicks, and I have SIX that want to be ... ahem ... "Stomped" by yours truly.

If I were single or a bastard (and ignored my wonderful finacée) I would be getting so much tail right now. And it's going to be even tougher come the end of term - they're all going to be interested in a little friendly goodbye fucking. I already got one offer. But I guarantee, if things don't work out with my current relationship, ALL SIX of those girls will be GONE, never to be heard or seen again.

I don't get it. I honestly don't.

Note - please take into account that I haven't slept for the past three nights. I'm living on caffiene, sugar, and pure fear. It's FINALS time.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have an algebra final in 45 minutes. Better bring a rape whistle, because I'm going to take this one right up the ass.

Posted by Nikita on Dec. 11 2001,11:18

SLUTS!

Posted by askheaves on Dec. 11 2001,11:41

When it rains, it pours. Story of my life... *sigh*

Posted by Observer on Dec. 11 2001,11:42

They play because they know you're unavailable, thus the forbidden fruit factor. They will most definitely say they don't have (and never really had) any interest in you if things go wrong and you end up single.

Refer to Dana Gould's "In Praise of Vincent Price" routine.

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When 1337 hax0rs start impaling each other with swords and typing code with a hook on one hand, then they can modify the term "pirate."

This message has been edited by Observer on December 12, 2001 at 06:42 AM

Posted by Wolfguard on Dec. 11 2001,11:49

quote:
Originally posted by Nikita:
SLUTS!

Yeah...you got to love em'

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Fucknuggets flamed while you wait.< TeamWolfguard.com >
< Robot Conflict >

Posted by Wiley on Dec. 11 2001,12:13

You didn't see that coming when you got engaged durring college? Your college years are the best stomping years of your life. In college you can end up having sex by accident one night durring a cramming session (this is where I think the term cramming really comes from). But now you playin days are behind you and just like Jordan, a few crazy fans want you to play just one last time. But keep in mind that if you go back to the game you're going to suck (again ..see Jordan). This is what you gotta do.

1. Stop hanging around these sluts, they are trouble.
2. Give the sluts' phone numbers to Wiley for safe keeping.
3. Wiley will test the sluttiness of each girl until they are deemed to be not sluts or they are too tired to be slutty anymore.
4. Remind Wiley that he too is engaged.
5. Help Wiley pick up all his stuff from the front lawn.

Posted by [liquid] meta on Dec. 11 2001,12:43

women make no sense. just become gay monks. yes.

Posted by miNus on Dec. 11 2001,23:39

6. Grab my undies out of Wiley's pool...

I er, forgot them...

Posted by Wiley on Dec. 12 2001,00:25

I dunno, you may want to let them stay in the pool a bit longer ..the chlorine will do them good.
And you look soo sessy without them.

Posted by Greasemonk on Dec. 12 2001,23:56

Sounds like the typical chics that wont date you, want to just be friends, and feel its ok to talk about what they have been "doing" with other guys. This is why I dont have too many chic friends. All of the sudden out of the blue if they hear that Im dating someone guess what. She show up, calls more, and comes around more all the sudden to criteque this new chic.

Then when you start dating someone else they do 1 of 3 things:

1. Leave you and your new woman alone.(1 out of 100000)

2. Start coming around more and they start flinging mixed signals, but if you stop seeing this other chic they dont come around anymore.

3. You start dating new chic and you have to hear about it everyday that you can do better, shes such a bitch, and you are a nice guy that deserves a better girlfriend.

Confused yet???? And this is why I tend NOT to have too many chic friends.

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All that I know there was no God for me
Force that shatters all, absence of mortality

Posted by miNus on Dec. 13 2001,01:54

quote:
Originally posted by Wiley:
And you look soo sessy without them.

You sound just like your mother when you say that... *sniff* I'm getting all teary eyed

Posted by Wolfen on Dec. 31 2001,21:22

Stomper;

This is not a problem... just get your woman to embrace her bi-sexual side and have her join in! It's not cheating if your significant other is in the frey with you.

{snicker} ==> I am evil.

Wolfen.

Posted by Wiley on Dec. 31 2001,21:59

Quote (miNus @ Dec. 13 2001,01:54)

You sound just like your mother when you say that... *sniff* I'm getting all teary eyed

don't you fucking talk bout my mom! You still owe her 50 bucks and that rock you hooked her up with was pure bunk ...made her shaky and shit for three hours. Anyways, because of your cheapness she had to turn a few more tricks so that we could all get presents this Christmas ...you ass!

Posted by incubus on Jan. 03 2002,04:28

Quote (Wiley @ Dec. 31 2001,21:59)

Quote

You sound just like your mother when you say that... *sniff* I'm getting all teary eyed

That reminds me of a collegue of mine, when out drinking with our d00dz he went and bought some "coke" off a random guy for £40 ... and it was icing sugar LMAO ... the most amusing thing is that the guy who was selling it was called pepsi ... does anyone see the irony?

Posted by Nikita on Jan. 03 2002,06:26

Ugh, greasemonk, I know how that is ... for the longest time guys didn't even look twice at me, but when someone shows the slightest bit of interest they all seem to jump on me at the same time.

As for the female friends - I have very very few of them. I know what some women would do to get a guy. I don't trust them. I don't want to turn to them for advice only to have them plot against me b/c they want the guy I'm with.

Bleh. I give up. I'm going to sleep ...

Posted by PersonGuy on Jan. 04 2002,22:57

Quote (Nikita @ Jan. 03 2002,06:26)

for the longest time guys didn't even look twice at me, but when someone shows the slightest bit of interest they all seem to jump on me at the same time.

Nah... that just means you got hot all the sudden and everyone noticed. Guys don't do that mind job crap.

Posted by Greasemonk on Jan. 05 2002,16:43

Also one reason I dont have that many chic friends is this.

For some reason they get the idea i want to hear them talking about some guys dick or what they did with some goofball the night before. Im just like save that for your friends, talk about farts, shit, or heavy metal or something!!!!

Posted by uncreative on Jan. 07 2002,02:28

Does your fiance have any special reputation that would make other girls respect you because you 'stomped' her?

Posted by Spydir on Jan. 07 2002,04:36

Quote (Greasemonk @ Jan. 05 2002,12:43)

damn straight, man...

I have a really bad time keeping friends that are girls these days. I blame the ones I've had in the past. Every girl I used to be friends with always ended up being more then just friends. So now I, for some fucked up reason, expect that to happen. That's why i get all bugged out about chick friends, I keep taking things the wrong way. I've been getting better at it though. Always have to look to the brighter side of things